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Hey Alera...I feel exactly like you and for those reasons I can not work the program of aa. The God of my understand just does not operate the way the steps assumes he will.
I am of the belief that all our power lies within, gifts given to us by God to be used or not used as we see fit. For many years I didn't bother to dig deep enough, I didn't know how powerful I really was.
I too agree if I don't blame God if I pick up, why would I assume he keeps me sober.
I pray daily, for guidance and strength. I always pray with a grateful heart...one which acknowledges the gifts given to me as a birthright.
Wonderful post!
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