Wow I didn't see this thread before I made my post a little bit ago. This post is just what I have been looking for. I'm trying to figure out how to ensure that he isn't drinking while he has the kids. I don't want to put my son in the situation of asking him to call me or someone else if AH is drinking, but something needs to be put in place. I also will be enforcing the rule that while the kids are free to talk to us about anything, what happens at one parents house that is the business of that parent. I want my kids to come to me and share anything they feel like sharing, but at the same time if there are issues going on at dad's house then they need to try and resolve it. AH is such a drama king though that I have a feeling there is alot of drama still to come.
I am wondering if it is considered verbal abuse for the kids for AH to say inappropriate things about me infront of them. He will say things to me and call me things in front of them. He does this both when he is drunk and sober. I am always cautious as to what I say to and in front of the kids. While ds already tells his dad that he doesnt like him drinking, it isnt my place to say bad things to him about his father that are my opinion and not his own. He needs to be able to form his own opinions.
I am working on transferring to a counselor that will be able to help with parenting issues as well as other stuff that I am working on. AH seems to think that he should be able to maintain some control over me and its not sitting well with him that Im not sitting back and letting him or taking his verbal abuse.