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Hi Mark,
I think you should try to seek a therapist who is a trauma specialist. Someone who specializes in PTSD treatment wouldn't be shocked at all by your flashbacks. It's quite common.
I don't see anything in your post that would label you as a freak.
There are many people with PTSD who experience the same kind of flash backs you are having. My own daughter has flashbacks that are morbid and off the wall and even unrelated to her trauma.
Is it fun? Not at all, but it is common.
There are different types of flashbacks. Some are visual, some are smell, some are sound, some are like watching in the 3rd person, some are reliving in the 1st person. Some people blank out for days and disassociate completely for blocks of time.
Do a search on PTSD flashbacks and try to find a better doctor.
You're ok and there are ways to cope better with your flashbacks with the proper treatment. I've had terrible obsessive thoughts. I'm just not a visual person so mine are a little different, but it's all the same.
Lots of hugs and hope,
MG
__________________   “Come to the edge.” “We can't. We're afraid.”
“Come to the edge.” “We can't. We will fall!”
“Come to the edge.”
And they came. And he pushed them.
And they flew.
Guillaume Apollinaire, 1880-1918
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