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mark008 · 07-09-2008, 05:26 PM

hi i thought to write on here because i feel ostriolised with the real world cuz of my illness.

right gonna start at beginning so please read all

i was a 15yr old guy and i was being bullied and beaten bad by my so called m8s and i thought it would be cool to rent out a horror video we all tried to get but couldn't. well i was a soft touch with my mum who rented it for me. i was almost at the end of the film when i started to feel dizzy and sweat alot so i went outside and was sick. i was feeling drunk walking up the road to my house but yet no alchohol was taken cuz i don't drink. anyways i started seeing images of the film and having obsessive thougts and thinking oh god what if i did that 2 someone. its been now 13 years and they are still there stronger than ever. i'm on effexor and 4 kepramine pills to help but i try get my brain doing other things but it don't work. the films are there 24/7 like a disease praying on me and i canna control them. i see a shrink and cpn 2 times a month and they said they aint met anyone like me ever which makes me feel worse. i feel a freak and the only way out is to kill myself. does anyone get similar?

07-09-2008, 05:26 PM	#1 (permalink)
mark008 Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 1	my story hi i thought to write on here because i feel ostriolised with the real world cuz of my illness. right gonna start at beginning so please read all i was a 15yr old guy and i was being bullied and beaten bad by my so called m8s and i thought it would be cool to rent out a horror video we all tried to get but couldn't. well i was a soft touch with my mum who rented it for me. i was almost at the end of the film when i started to feel dizzy and sweat alot so i went outside and was sick. i was feeling drunk walking up the road to my house but yet no alchohol was taken cuz i don't drink. anyways i started seeing images of the film and having obsessive thougts and thinking oh god what if i did that 2 someone. its been now 13 years and they are still there stronger than ever. i'm on effexor and 4 kepramine pills to help but i try get my brain doing other things but it don't work. the films are there 24/7 like a disease praying on me and i canna control them. i see a shrink and cpn 2 times a month and they said they aint met anyone like me ever which makes me feel worse. i feel a freak and the only way out is to kill myself. does anyone get similar?