Tryingtolive,
As I have been told, you have to ask. That is taking part in your recovery. For me, I was told to go and listen to women (or men if you are a man) share and choose someone who seems to have something you want. I have a womens meeting that I go to where they ask at the end of the meeting that all women who are willing to sponsor to please raise their hand. This is extremely helpful!
I actually asked two women to be my sponsor in my first few days and both of them offered their number but did not have the time to sponsor me. I was a little hurt so I went and asked my HP to guide me and help me to choose the right sponsor. The very next night my sponsor came up to me at a meeting (I think I had met her once) and said "Hi! You have 8 days right?" I thought it was so cool that she knew that. I barely knew that. Then she shared in the meeting and she had such peace about her and self acceptance of herself that I knew I wanted that!
I asked and she was thrilled! Last night when she gave me my 60 day chip she shared how I came into her life and exactly the time she needed me. And then told me that my being her sponsee was me performing service as well. Aaahhh.
Good luck :ghug For me, I know that the changes I see today come from my participation in my recovery, working the steps and being of service. Putting down the bottle is not responsible for my growth, my hard work is.