Soosie, I think you hit the nail on the head with the words 'self-medicating'. I have been diagnosed with depression/anxiety and had a major breakdown a few years ago that could have got a diagnosis of schizophrenia too, paranoia, delusions, loss of any reality, voices from the TV and radio talking to me.
I sometimes wonder if I am using all this as an excuse for my relapsing 6 months ago (I was 6 months sober) but lately I have been going through the depression/anxiety mill again and I notice I just don't want to face it. I have had that hopeful face/heart for SO long. I am tired.
I haven't given up hope though, I seem to be incredibly stubborn, lol.
Anyway, sorry to vent on your vent.
