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ananda · 07-04-2008, 09:28 AM

OK....so i feel like a dweeb starting this thread, but reaching out to others and sharing is suppose to be good and I'm kinda over my head today.

a little background:
I've been sober 11 mos and 9 days. I have worked the steps...of course they are all growing and learning more everyday and am working on the amends each week...they will take a while I think. I have been celibate for 15 years. I have been on about 7-10 dates in my life. I was married at 19 for about a year and have been single since. I am now 49. I was in AA before 85 to ? and had 7 years before my last drink which lasted 8 years.

So....I am pretty sure I went on a date Tuesday. He picked me up, He paid for dinner. I had a good time. I have been attracted to him since January. This is the first time I have had sexual feelings at all in 15 years.

So I am realizing that I am way inexperienced in this stuff and don't really have any idea what i'm doing or how to interpret things....like what is a date. So I thought if I started a thread and posted as I walk through this it might help me. I don't want to blog cause I want to have interactions with others on this issue.

This man seems nice, caring, intelligent and of course has his less wonderful traits...a little over reserved I think. He was a total gentleman and he didn't even kiss me at the end of the date (of course maybe he thought just friends). If he just was being friends I would actually like to be his friend but the fact that i find him attractive on so many levels means that might be hard for me to be comfortable.

So I guess I don't know for sure it was a date. I don't know how I will respond to being around him after the meeting today (and he may very well not be there) I want to stay in the now but also enjoy the new stuff and most of all learn from this expereince.

Any imput appreciated.

07-04-2008, 09:28 AM	#1 (permalink)
ananda Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 6,332	Dating in Recovery OK....so i feel like a dweeb starting this thread, but reaching out to others and sharing is suppose to be good and I'm kinda over my head today. a little background: I've been sober 11 mos and 9 days. I have worked the steps...of course they are all growing and learning more everyday and am working on the amends each week...they will take a while I think. I have been celibate for 15 years. I have been on about 7-10 dates in my life. I was married at 19 for about a year and have been single since. I am now 49. I was in AA before 85 to ? and had 7 years before my last drink which lasted 8 years. So....I am pretty sure I went on a date Tuesday. He picked me up, He paid for dinner. I had a good time. I have been attracted to him since January. This is the first time I have had sexual feelings at all in 15 years. So I am realizing that I am way inexperienced in this stuff and don't really have any idea what i'm doing or how to interpret things....like what is a date. So I thought if I started a thread and posted as I walk through this it might help me. I don't want to blog cause I want to have interactions with others on this issue. This man seems nice, caring, intelligent and of course has his less wonderful traits...a little over reserved I think. He was a total gentleman and he didn't even kiss me at the end of the date (of course maybe he thought just friends). If he just was being friends I would actually like to be his friend but the fact that i find him attractive on so many levels means that might be hard for me to be comfortable. So I guess I don't know for sure it was a date. I don't know how I will respond to being around him after the meeting today (and he may very well not be there) I want to stay in the now but also enjoy the new stuff and most of all learn from this expereince. Any imput appreciated.