(((Paulos)))
No need to be sorry.
We're all here to get and to give our ESH.
Sometimes we need to get more than we give. That's ok.
There will be time enough later to give back. There always is.
I want to point out that, once more, I see you "futurizing," or worrying about the future that isn't here yet.
The doctor may not give you a prescription. You're afraid that you may not be able to handle your house "some day."
We don't know what tomorrow will bring, my friend. We only have today. Live in the present. It's enough to deal with for now.
Does that make sense?
Be well, my friend...
Shalom!