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Dear Lady Blue,
I too have been where you are. I was born again on May 8, 1989. I then got clean and sober and relapsed. Then in 1991, I was clean again and stayed clean till 1999 when my hubby got brain cancer. (I was taking his pain pills) I felt sooo far away from God while in active addiction!
Perhaps you should re-examine your faith. Have to admitted to God you are a sinner? Do you know that Jesus died on the cross to prepare a place in heaven for you? Have you come to him by faith and asked him to be the LORD of your life? Have you transfered your trust in yourself to trusting in Him completely?
If you have done all of this, then get in HIS word. Read a chapter of John each day. Ask him to speak to you by his Holy Spirit. Read a chapter of proverbs each day. There are 31 chapters, read one each day that corresponds with the day of the month we are on.
Finally, THIS IS KEY! In order to really have a relationship w/ Christ that is going to be a good one is to stay clean! the only real way I have found to stay clean is to be in the fellowship of NA/AA. If you have a problem w/ them not being Christian, you are going to have to get over it and just get into a group.
Also, I almost forgot, and hopefully you are, get involved in a good bible believing church w/ other believers.
blessings, Sheila
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