I think the answers right there in your post
Quote:
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I found God some 12 yrs ago, or he found me....
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I wasn't looking for God when I cleaned up...but we met up again.
I don't like to get all evangelistic, but I found helping others just naturally let Jesus back into my life. It was that monumental yet that simple.
I wish you well - cmc's suggestions are excellent - sometimes we can pray far better with what we
do than what we
say, y'know?
I firmly believe God gave us hearts hands and minds for a reason - we should use them. If you haven't already - get involved with a programme of recovery, get involved with a church, look at some service work maybe - I bet ya, all good things will follow
D