[utopia]

hey ss234! well i think that addiction can be something deeper and that alcoholism is a branch of this. in any case i have found alanon a great help. having been affected by living with an alcoholic in my life. have u tried alanon? i also used to find myself in these situations and the painful truth ive had to face for me was this "He's just not that into you". thers a great book with this label....also the answer to my lifelong question of why do men do this to me? the answer was really, because i let them....i believe that if a guy is really into me, really wants to know the magnificence and beauty of me as i do him and his wonder then there will not be much that stands in the way. business meetings can wait. committment? hell lets just try it because you are that interesting to me....if not the guys not ready or has some sort of issue.....or is just dragging you along like some second rate snack in his backpack in case....i dont know about you but i no longer am anyones plan b or 'piece on the side'. recovery teaches me that i didnt know what i was even looking for and that perhaps these "jerks" were the universe showing me i was confused and i needed to be clear to the universe, god etc what i want, really. and i am a bit closer today to knowing that mentally engaged and communicative are up there but mostly respect of me and my time! work in progress. just my thoughts. peace.