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Sugar, hitting the nail on the head. For me, amends is about setting straight the crooked path and doing whatever I have to do to make the books balance. If I have a part, then so does the other person. My experience is that when you still have a part, I'm still a victim. If I'm still a victim, then you still own me. And I don't want to be owned. Two of my major resentments were towards my biological father and my step father. My biological father left when I was 4 months old. How could I possibly had a "part" in that, or the pain that it caused. When I disregarded him entirely and looked where I was wrong it was revealed that where I was wrong was carrying the resentment over all this time, and allowing it to grow. My step father was a particularly nasty character. He was a good man as far as a provider and all, but he was just one of those guys that was always demeaning, unsupportive type of fathers. He was the type of guy that would deliberately "forget" to put film in the camera on your graduation for spite. I had to disregard all of these things entirely and look at where I was wrong. I was able to look at all the times I was disrespectful, dishonest, a thief. Times when I robbed him of his emotional and financial security. This was important. And it came to me that maybe he wasn't treated well when he was younger. Maybe he was doing the very best that he could with what he had. That's what 4-7 revealed to me was that I had given life my very best shot with what i had and continued to come up short. And God loves me anyway. And if he does that for me, then he does that for every other human. It shows me how much and why I need God in my life. This is about the beginning of being stripped of judgement. The making of amends is about setting the other person free from me. As I begin to accept others as they are I begin to fit into and belong in the world.
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