I heard a wise person once say in regard to resentments :"If I only have a part - than you still have a part and I have not disregarded it completely"
Basically - if someone still has their part of a resentment - than the resentment is still there.
My book says I am to put out of mind the wrongs of others and 'resolutely looked for our own mistakes" ....and...."Though a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely".
For me - when I got to making ammends - I am only seeing the wrong and harm I have caused.
bb references:
http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_BigBook_chapt5.pdf