(((Paulos)))
I'm sorry you're so sad about things...
And I know you have such trouble with your OCD.
But, Paulos, as difficult as it is when we have a fight with someone,
And I do know how it can be very upsetting,
The fight does *not* cause us to drink.
Never.
We drink because we choose to.
We want to erase the turmoil we feel. To drown our sorrows. Escape the feelings.
But, it doesn't work, does it?
The next day, we are back at day one, with guilt added to those very feelings we were hoping to escape. And the remorse. For letting ourself down, and others too.
Paulos, you can quit drinking. But, you've got to let go of the excuses for drinking, too. Dispite all of the other issues you have going -- the OCD, the autism, etc -- to quit drinking, you've got to quit using excuses to drink.
Fights happen in life, all the time. If you drink every time you get into a fight, you'll never stop. So, recognize that it's your decision to pick up that drink. And find another way to deal with the turmoil that the fight causes. Exercise is a great way to do it. How about going for a run?
I'm rooting for you, Paulos... I know you can do this!
Shalom!