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For me, there was something inside that desperately, COMPLETELY needed to believe that "he" was the person I thought he was. I needed to believe in the fantasy I had built of him, in order to feel good about my life, and in life in general.
It was also something my childhood trained me to do - trust my "intuition" rather than the facts staring me in the face. Unfortunately, it turned out that my intuition had rose-colored glasses. I needed to learn to process facts, not just feelings.
Learning to be realistic -- to see what's in front of me, and adjust my beliefs accordingly -- has brought me unseen benefits that I never could have imagined. It is a practice, and the skill doesn't come overnight, but it comes if you want it to.
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"Tell me, what are you going to do with your one wild and precious life?" --Mary Oliver
"Action is the antidote to despair." --Joan Baez
"False hopes bind us to unlivable situations, and blind us to real possibilities." --Derrick Jensen |