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Yeah, besides my alcoholism (which developed in a period of months!) I've been diagosed depressed, bi polar, and anxiety. Have been diagnosed with depression for over ten years now) Am on meds for all those and am taking them every day but am having a hard time dealing with the feelings that resurfaced since stopping drinking. May be that's why I've kept having relapses. I'm trying hard to make my last relapse my LAST one, as I don't want to keep going thru this roller coaster. But also my situation at present is not peaceful and smooth. I've been unemployed since early this year and having issues with my kids, ages 16, 18, and 20. Too complicated to go into here. Suffice it to say that they are only making things worse for me (and them) with their behavior and attitudes.
Everything is dumped on me; their messes, physical and emotional; all the bills; cleaning up after them; and accomodating their needs. Only one is actually living with me, the 20 yr old is just 'staying' for a while, and using my shower, towels, food, and laundry facility. The youngest is in counseling and living in a private foster home. She still comes over to demand things and whine and harass me about taking her here and there.
I try not to give in to their demands too much but sometimes do just to stop the screaming and nagging.
Yes, I've spoken with my doctor and my shrink about these issues. They are trying to teach me different and better ways of dealing with this crap. But I am old and tired and not learning very easily.
I am just overwhelmed with despair lately and wonder what's the use, what's my reason for being. I don't feel competent or smart and am having a hard time dealing with normal everyday things.
Sorry to be so needy.:praying
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