I can’t help but think of the quote by Brigham Young who said, “Crying children in church are like good intentions and should be carried out.” My thought is that the same thing should apply to AA meetings as well. I can still remember what it was like when I was new in the program and my nerves were more taunt than a violin string. A child running around not being supervised would have driven me back out those doors in a heart beat. Sorry if that upsets anyone, but I am giving you my experience.
However, I also feel there is a solution. I’ve sat with children several times in what one group calls the Alanon Room. (It was a separate room that the Alanon’s meet in but not at the same time as the regular group.) Any area that is safe for children to be in is a good place to be since little ears don’t need to hear some of the things we are talking about or the rants of some of us when we haven’t been socialized just yet (open or closed meetings). I try to remember what our primary purpose is and remember “for that, I am responsible”. I have to remember the newcomer who needs the opportunity to concentrate on the message being delivered in the meeting as well as that member who may have had no other recourse but to bring their child to a meeting. And that sometimes means that maybe I have to go out and sit with the kids while the parent gets the chance to listen. (At twenty-three years, I don’t think I’ll sustain too much damage having to miss a meeting or two.) Please consider this as well, I work at the elementary level of public education and children of that age level know how they are expected to act in public whether the parents do or not. Asking them to sit down and behave isn’t too much to ask. As far as when is too young or too old…I DO NOT want to see ANY of my students from school in a meeting, thank you very much, unless they have a problem with alcohol themselves. I do appreciate the fact that open or closed, it’s still Alcoholics Anonymous (heavily stressing the last word). Now I have no problem with a sleeping baby or toddler in arms being at a meeting. (A little common sense can be used in these cases people.) However, if there is smoking allowed in those meetings…see my last bracketed sentence.
I believe in the AA Program. I believe in the Principles set forth by its founders and I have seen them at work in countless members and groups. I will not throw myself against those rock solid ethics, for the sake of my personal opinion or political correctness. Regardless of my personal feelings on the subject, the rule of the group conscience is absolute. If I don’t agree with their directives then I have but two courses for action…comply or leave. It’s as simple as that.