[nandm]

Rita, I am sorry you are experiencing such pain right now. I do remember your original post. I think that what you experienced last night answers the question of your original post "why do they discourage relationships in early sobriety?" Answer because unless someone is stable in their sobriety a relationship can be an excuse to drink again.

As hard as it may sound to do, the best thing you can do right now is to work on your sobriety and stay away from any relationship with this man. If you are too overwhelmed by your feelings for him to maintain just a friendship with him then cut off the friendship until you are stable in your sobriety.

I realize you say that it made you feel better to drink last night. The big picture though includes how you feel today. Yes, for a few short hours the drink may have felt like it helped. But think about how you feel today, how you will feel tomorrow, the hangover, the emotions, the guilt, etc.... Those are the feelings that linger not the passing feeling you get from the actual drink itself. There was a reason you started this journey of sobriety. Try to focus on that and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Relationships will come and go but sobriety is something you can have for a lifetime. I have found that the people I am attracted to and that are attracted to me in sobriety are overall a much higher quality of people.