[tracee1010]

Well I posted just 12 days ago and yesterday Ms. Betty passed away.
I am a wreck.... I've been getting calls all week that she has fallen here and there. I saw her on Monday and wednesday. she did not look good but we were still able to have conversations and make jokes.

Saturday the hospice nurse called me and wanted to move her as the asst living home felt her needs were too high. ??????
I'm like "Seriously, she cant survive a move, up her morphine and keep her comfortable,,, thats all she wants"

Then the nurse left me a message at 2am that she had passed. I didnt get the message until about 10am.

Wierd thing happened though.. at about 3 am i woke up, jumped out of bed. I felt as if someone was in my room,, I was kinda freaked out. I grabbed my mace and began to check all rooms in my apt. I thought even maybe my son had woke up and was standing by my bed perhaps.. but no... IDK

so yesterday, I went to the asst living. cleaned out her room. collected all her personal belonging.. The creamatorium is calling me to day and should have her death certif and ashes ready for Wednesday.


As I was going through her things I found her original birth certif from 1938, her high school diploma, her sons birth certif. her marriage and divorce decree and finally her protection order against her son who tried to kill her in 2003. She was still carrying it in her purse. ...

Her birth certificate said she was born on July 13, at 5:23pm. So i was thinking I would take her ashes to beautiful HOlmes lake and spread them on her birthday at that time. I also thought I would shread the pics of her son and the protection order... as she is safe now and not in pain.


I'm okay one minute then the next bawling... smiling one minute then that Mariah Carey song Bye-Bye comes on the radio and I cry... then I am happy.
I started to go to work today then broke down at Starbucks.. and came home.. I dont know what I should be doing....