Hi, sleepygrrl,
And welcome to SR!
I'm sorry to hear you're not doing well. It's hard, I know. I just went through my second depression, and it sucks. Thankfully, both mine were situational.
It sounds like yours is too. Stopping the drink will help plenty.
Then, start doing positive things for yourself. I *know* it's hard. But, it's imperitive for your well being.
We need to care for our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being.
That means, eating right; exercising and, like you've already done, quit the drink. It's a depressant, and no good for you right now. No drugs either, unless prescribed by your doc. Get enough sleep, but, not too much.
Mentally, make a conscious decision to learn something new. It doesn't need to be rocket science. Learn to cook; garden; sew; build model airplanes; swim; a new language; whatever... Use your mind. You'll be amazed at how good you will feel about yourself with this accomplishment!
Emotionally, take the time to feed your soul with positive affirmations. Learn to reject the negative self talk -- it's a lie. Do yoga or rikki or something. Meditate. Take a bubble bath. Light candles and put on good soothing music. Dance like no one's watching! Light some inscense.
Spiritually, reconnect with your Higher Power, whom I prefer to call G*D. Take classes at your local church, mosque or synogogue. Listen, and really *hear* what the prayers are saying. Connect it to your own life. Practice your spirituality in your daily life. You'll be amazed at the power of the feeling that the transcendance you'll get will give you.
I know this is a tall order when you're depressed.
So, start small. Make one task a day a priority.
Then, build upon it. A little at a time.
Your spirits will rise, and you'll begin to feel so much better as you do positive things for yourself. Life will look better. And, you'll be able to see the good once more. :>)
Continue to post and let us know how it's going. We care.
Shalom!