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Sorry if I sounded divisive about Baptists. It's just my own personal perspective. Really, to each his own. My frustrations have come from being locked into attending a type of church that I didn't feel comfortable going to, just because my husband refused to attend any other type of church. I thought we were better off going as one family than to split up and go to different churches. But thankfully, he's starting to seek out new avenues to see if there are other things out there to help him stop. Putting all his eggs in his particular faith seems to cloud the issue of having a relationship with God. Make sense? He just puts more weight or clout in the title. I'm more into going where I hear God. I don't want to put words into my husband's mouth, but I don't think he's been hearing from God either. Going to church on Sundays has been nothing more than a routine for several years now. I want to hear God, feel God, know God, etc. I don't want to sit there wondering whether what time it is and where we'll be going for lunch.
Again, I know several truly devote Baptists who seems to have a very strong relationship with God, so I'm sorry if I sounded like I was bashing the Baptists.
Gertiegirl - I hear you about the sin vs. disease angle. My AH grew up very much thinking that it's a sin and he still believes that to this day. But he also says it's an incurable disease that is slowly killing him. He spends to much time either fighting "sin" or succumbing to the "disease" that it's a philosophical coin toss. Bottom line is, drinking is killing him. As I heard an AA leader say once, "You'll all stop drinking someday, even if you drink yourself to the grave, you will eventually stop."
And one last thought. My AH is really, really good at creating an image for others. And he is so wrapped up in it, but it's like a present with a big bow on top and nothing inside. He knows the bible really well. He can talk about the bible inside and out. But I don't see that he's spiritually alive at all. I'm not judging him, I'm just saying that from what I've seen, I think he's given up on his relationship with God.
So, (and we have had this discussion) according to AA, he is waiting for God to take away his cravings. Well, he waits and waits and he's still waiting. Meanwhile, we go to church and go to church and he's still waiting. I sometimes think the only reason he goes to church is so that he can use the excuse that he's going and God still isn't delivering. Make sense? I think if he wanted sobriety, trusting in God would definitely help him. But he's just going through the motions.
Pray that he opens his ears to hear God's word wherever we go. And Gertie, thanks for that passage: John 3:17 "For God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him". My AH grew up in a very, very condemning household. His mother arrives for a visit in a few hours. She told me yesterday that if she suspects he's been drinking, she's going to let him have it. I told her that I won't dictate what she should say to her almost 50 year old son, but that I think it would help if she told him she loves him. She's an ice cube.
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