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Hmmmmm, sounds to me like Baptist Churches are very different in America then they are here! I would never consider my church legalistic, and I wouldn't say there are any from my church (even the Pastors) who never drink period. I'd have to just respectfully suggest you've been subject to some bad teaching. Also point to note - Baptist is not a seperate faith, it's still Christian, its just one denomination of the Christian Church. Its just some of the Holy Sacraments are practised differently, and maybe in America the preaching and worship style is very different. I'd suggest you try churches of different Christian denominations (Presbyterian, Anglican for example) and find one that feels more right to you and your husband.
I also have realised recently that I need to seperate my recovery journey to my faith walk. Maybe your hubby could look at that too. I need my Pastors and Church family to look after my overall wellbeing (emotional needs, physical support, relationships etc) but I need alcoholics, or specialised counbsellors to look out for my recovery. My Pastor has been trying to help me in this recovery thing for two years now and he just ends up frustrated because he can't possibly figure out how my mind is working, and cannot figure out why I would make the choice to pick up that first drink. He doesn't realise that I have no idea either - it doesn't make sense even to me but I still do it. So its too difficult for him to help me. Another alcoholic (and most drug or alcohol counsellors you will usually find are long term in recovery people themselves) knows how my brain works. I've had to seperate that entirely.
As for communion - Christ knows whats in your heart, so I don't actually repent my alcoholism at communion. I confess and repent sins that have been ongoing during the week, and ask for healing of this disease. I went through a phase where every week I would confess, repent and swear not to do it again, and then still did. I ended up constantly feeling guilty, and it was not productive. I think my worst pity party was the day I was baptised, I got drunk that night. I held onto the guilt for that for over a year! So communion was a weekly attack on my consience. Now I view my alcoholism in the category it should be in, which is as a disease - then I DO have to continually lay it down before the Lord, but I aint going to carry the guilt! Everyone knows John 3:16, but remember also John 3:17 "For God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him" (Emphasis mine).
Hope some of this helps, not just me babbling and rambling! LOL.
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