SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - Desire to have children and the alcoholic

loner1968 · 05-29-2008, 02:51 PM

Wow! I went through this too except the woman my X hooked up with already has a child.
He decided that he wanted someone he could drink with and he also decided he wanted a child! He said "A kid will fix me" I almost threw up! He also told me that he was "going through selfish phase...always was as far as i remember. Then he said he needed to find out who he was but was hooked up with her already!!

I too went through the whole "why does he treat her so well and go places with her "and bla bla...It almost drove me insane...really! Well after spending so much time here and getting advice from people I came to realize that their "perfect" relationship is actually a sick one.

I sometimes think about the little girl that is stuck in the middle. I know what she is going through. I think it was the worst thing that woman could do... puttting her child in that situation. It still bothers me sometimes. But its none of my business.

I guess maybe when someone's brain is pickled they don't really think things through rationally. Maybe other people also think that a "kid" can fix them. I don't know.

As far as him treating her so well and stringing you along...it seems to be par for the course in situations like this. He probably doesn't even care about her. Its more about being able to do whatever he wants when he wants and that kind of behavior doesn't just go away when someone stops using.

Its good that your RA is sober now but it seems that he may just be a selfish person. Please dont get strung along forever like I did. I wish I had found this site a long long time ago. It would have saved me alot of heartache. I wish you well and try not to take it all to heart. Like others here have said "listen" to actions not words.

I'm sorry you are going through this and i do know what it's like. Just keep coming here and posting and reading. I promise you it WILL help!!! I never thought I would see the day when i stopped wanting to shake them both and tell them how stupid they were being but now I just try really hard to think of what I need to do to be well.

I hope this helps you.

05-29-2008, 02:51 PM	#7 (permalink)
loner1968 Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 223	Wow! I went through this too except the woman my X hooked up with already has a child. He decided that he wanted someone he could drink with and he also decided he wanted a child! He said "A kid will fix me" I almost threw up! He also told me that he was "going through selfish phase...always was as far as i remember. Then he said he needed to find out who he was but was hooked up with her already!! I too went through the whole "why does he treat her so well and go places with her "and bla bla...It almost drove me insane...really! Well after spending so much time here and getting advice from people I came to realize that their "perfect" relationship is actually a sick one. I sometimes think about the little girl that is stuck in the middle. I know what she is going through. I think it was the worst thing that woman could do... puttting her child in that situation. It still bothers me sometimes. But its none of my business. I guess maybe when someone's brain is pickled they don't really think things through rationally. Maybe other people also think that a "kid" can fix them. I don't know. As far as him treating her so well and stringing you along...it seems to be par for the course in situations like this. He probably doesn't even care about her. Its more about being able to do whatever he wants when he wants and that kind of behavior doesn't just go away when someone stops using. Its good that your RA is sober now but it seems that he may just be a selfish person. Please dont get strung along forever like I did. I wish I had found this site a long long time ago. It would have saved me alot of heartache. I wish you well and try not to take it all to heart. Like others here have said "listen" to actions not words. I'm sorry you are going through this and i do know what it's like. Just keep coming here and posting and reading. I promise you it WILL help!!! I never thought I would see the day when i stopped wanting to shake them both and tell them how stupid they were being but now I just try really hard to think of what I need to do to be well. I hope this helps you.