It was in March this year. I'd just come back from rehab for my drinking problem. Problem was, they wanted me to stay four weeks and I left after only 12 days. I was lonely, homesick, missed my dogs and kids, and last but not least, I wanted to do things 'my way'. No surprise that a relapse wasn't too long in catching up with me. I drank, got sober, lived thru too many withdrawals, relapsed, sobered up, you get the picture. My longest period being sober was 32 days, then ,surprise, another relapse. I had periods of a few days to a couple weeks, but couldn't make my sobriety 'stick'.
Finally in mid May after realizing for the last time that my way wasn't working, I begged the substance abuse agency in my small city to send me back one more time. I said I'd stay four weeks, tho that would mean missing daughter's hs graduation. She said it was ok mom, just go get better.
Surprise! THey would only pay for five days detox. So I came home and am trying to rebuild my life for myself and my kids and dogs. But this time is different that the first two times cause I finally understood the concept of surrender and am no longer fighting demon alcohol cause I know he'll always win. So I stay out of the ring so I won't get battered any more.
AFter admitting months ago that I was alcoholic, and many starts and stops, I finallly "get it" and have hope that I'll be able to stay sober this time.
The people here have helped me tremendously in my struggle, always supporting me and urging me to 'start again'. I don't want to let myself down anymore. I'm sober to stay.
THanks everybody!