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Has a doctor diagnosed you as depressed? I used to use meth when I was your age. I wasn't really all that into being in love at the time.
I don't think I was really capable of being in love I did a lot of meth though. After too many years of doing dope thank God I got clean. I hope you will somehow find the strength to get clean. It is so worth it. The sooner you do it the less years you will look on with regret or remorse. The age you are now is so sweet I pray that you will allow yourself sobriety.
The demons will shrink as you get real with yourself.
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