| After I quit, how do i get over my demons?
Hi, i'm pretty new and I've been posting questions all over because i'm so excited to be talking to people like me who want to help.
The reason i'm posting here is that while I want to quit using but I know that's not why i'm depressed.
I fell deeply in love with a girl I knew back in florida, and continued a relationship with her after I moved to new york to live with my dad because i just couldn't imagine breaking it off.
Well, around 6 months ago I began to notice she seemed sad and discontent with the way things were. Half because I didn't want to torture her with a long distance relationship anymore and half because I was afraid she was gonna leave me, I broke up with her.
In my short 17 years that was the hardest moment of my life. We promised we'd stay friends before I left, no matter what, and we did. She's dating some new guy and its tearing me up inside. Even before she went out with this dude i was a complete wreck, but at least I thought at the time that once I got out of highschool i could go back home and things would return to normal.
Icing on the cake, now she tells me theres some girl who likes her and she thinks she might be bi or a lesbian! Sorry, don't mean to come off as homophobic (i'm not in the least) but for some reason, that really, really got to me.
I want to quit meth and weed but i don't know what i'll do with myself without drugs to numb the pain. to just sit there with me an my own thoughts... it's scary.
I don't know if you can imagine how pathetic I feel right now. I just can't get over her even though she's way over me. We started out as best friends, and thats all I want to be. I don't know if i should just stop talking to her or what.
She knows i have a drug problem and i can tell it disgusts her. I don't have the heart to tell her i started (ok, thats a lie, but it got worse) this all up because i couldn't stand myself and this misery.
How did you guys start to face your demons when the drugs/alchohal were gone?
|