SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - being attracted/attached to my care givers

***nandm*** · 05-24-2008, 03:49 PM

Hippy, you certainly have a lot going on right now.

Here is a link to someone elses post regarding attraction to their therapist. " " attraction to therapist, trust....please help There seem to be some good replies. The one regarding the book "In Session" by Barbara Lott sounds like it might be worth taking.

I googled to try and find more information but couldn't find anything else that looked worthwhile.

By the way this is just a hypothesis on my part but as far as your being attracted although the therapist is a female I will share with you my feelings on it. I personally believe that heterosexuality and homosexuality are a lot like black and white. Because there with black and white there are varying shades of gray. I think there are those that are 100% heterosexual and never experience attractions to the same sex just as I believe there are those that are 100% homosexual who are never attracted to the opposit sex but I believe the majority of people fall somewhere in the gray area although they may lean more one way or the other. Their is a Jewish Rabbi who has written a paper on this concept but he believes there a five different sexualities. I say this only because I feel that you should not be overly concerned that you have some attraction although she is a woman. It does not mean you are gay. You are just normal in my eyes. Personally I think that homophobia comes from the fact that so many people are in the gray area and are frightened by those same sex attractions because they are more attracted to the opposite sex so rather than accepting gays they fight against those feelings they have inside themselves and show their fear by striking out at gays. But as I said that is just my hypothesis so take it with a grain of salt.

I do understand being attracted to your therapist. I think it is probably fairly common. It probably isn't a good thing that you develop such a strong attachment though as I do think that it could create enough dependency in the relationship to hinder your growth. I think there are many reasons people become attracted to their therapists but personally I think it has a lot to do with self confidence and self esteem. But again just my opinion and I am by no means a mental health professional.

Sorry this response was so long. Take care

Judith

05-24-2008, 03:49 PM	#2 (permalink)
*nandm* Life the gift of recovery! Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Home is where the heart is Posts: 6,580	Hippy, you certainly have a lot going on right now. Here is a link to someone elses post regarding attraction to their therapist. " " attraction to therapist, trust....please help There seem to be some good replies. The one regarding the book "In Session" by Barbara Lott sounds like it might be worth taking. I googled to try and find more information but couldn't find anything else that looked worthwhile. By the way this is just a hypothesis on my part but as far as your being attracted although the therapist is a female I will share with you my feelings on it. I personally believe that heterosexuality and homosexuality are a lot like black and white. Because there with black and white there are varying shades of gray. I think there are those that are 100% heterosexual and never experience attractions to the same sex just as I believe there are those that are 100% homosexual who are never attracted to the opposit sex but I believe the majority of people fall somewhere in the gray area although they may lean more one way or the other. Their is a Jewish Rabbi who has written a paper on this concept but he believes there a five different sexualities. I say this only because I feel that you should not be overly concerned that you have some attraction although she is a woman. It does not mean you are gay. You are just normal in my eyes. Personally I think that homophobia comes from the fact that so many people are in the gray area and are frightened by those same sex attractions because they are more attracted to the opposite sex so rather than accepting gays they fight against those feelings they have inside themselves and show their fear by striking out at gays. But as I said that is just my hypothesis so take it with a grain of salt. I do understand being attracted to your therapist. I think it is probably fairly common. It probably isn't a good thing that you develop such a strong attachment though as I do think that it could create enough dependency in the relationship to hinder your growth. I think there are many reasons people become attracted to their therapists but personally I think it has a lot to do with self confidence and self esteem. But again just my opinion and I am by no means a mental health professional. Sorry this response was so long. Take care Judith __________________ NOTE: All BB quotes are from the 1st Edition of the Big Book Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.