[ksos]

Hello Everyone...

I know I told some members here that I was needing a break from posting and from Sober Recovery in general. This is because I have to focus all of my energies on my job search as well as an upcoming surgery.

Honestly, I needed to think about how I should bring up a topic which is certainly controversial n the area of pain management. Just for other's knowledge, I have chronic pancreatitis, and I have had it since January of 2004.

Essentially, my pain management physican and I have decided that the best course of treatment at this point will be the insertion of a morphine pump into my back. I am no longer reponding to oral medication. I was told that the procedure is a 15 minute one which is performed in a hospital and will require surgery on my lower back and will allow for the insertion of a disk-like object which is the actuial pump device.

I will be removed off of all methadone and nueronton and simultaneously administered the morphine in what will be a temporary pump. I will need to be hospitalized for three days in order to see if this pump works effectively, and if it does, I would have the actual device placed in my back. I was told by my pain doctor that I will know immediately if the device is working, as all of my pain will be gone. In addition, all of the "druggy" signs like slurred speech, cloudy thinking, will disappear, as the medication will be directly hitting my pancreas.

I had been holding off on my pain doc's recommendation that I do this, until I did receive a second opinion. I felt as if I could manage the pain effectively by simply taking the medication as prescribed as well as receiving epidural injections, but, thus far, the pain is at the point were my quality of life is severely compromised.

I spend about 20 hours in bed, can walk maybe a block or 2 at the most, and must work as I am on the brink of homelessness. I have been told by job coaches as well as my doctor, and family that my speech is extremely slurred and that I look "stoned". I cannot live like this anymore and the pump will resolve all of these issues.

Well, there it is. I know that there will be reactions and that is cool, even if they are contradictory to what I have elected to do. I feel mixed about this choice honestly. Living a painfree life is basically a dream which is possible according to my PM team. This procedure is 100% reversable if it is not effective.

I appreciate the opportunity to share my situation.