[Impurrfect]

(((Tracee)))

I was a nurse for 12 years before addiction took over.

I spent a lot of times with dying patients, and some I got to know them and their families really well. Actually went to a few funerals, and was treated like family.

Don't think you have to be strong and not cry through all this. I cried many, many times with my patients and their families. I've seen doctors cry. We're all human.

My mom died when she was 50 (almost 17 years ago). I knew she wouldn't live a long life, but had no idea she wouldn't make it to 51. Knowing what I know now, I wish I could have been like emimily..and told her I would miss her but it was okay to go. Unfortunately, even though she was sick, it was still pretty sudden and I didn't.

Because of her death, I became more aware of what dying people and their families need. If they want to talk, I let them talk. If they didn't, I was still there for them. The first time a patient died that I was really close to her and her family, they told me that helped them the most was the time I spent with them, and when they asked me "do we need to let her go" and I was honest and said "yes".

You're a compassionate person and this is painful. But you will get through it. Just be gentle with yourself and cry when you need to. In this case it's not a sign of weakness...it's a sign of love.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy