[smyoung2902]

for the past three years or so i have had a pretty big problem with alcohol. i didnt necessarily drink often, but when i did drink i drank way too much. a couple nights a week i would go to house parties and drink enough to the point of blacking out. then when i turned 21 i started going to bars with my friends, and finally i started going by myself several times a week as well. about 3 months ago i got a public intoxication ticket and spent the night in jail. i quit for a week and the next weekend i went out with my friends and the same thing happened again. i promised to stay sober but two weeks after that, i went out with an old friend and got hit with my first dui. so three alcohol related arrests in three to four weeks.

since my dui, which was 42 days ago now, i have not had one drop of alcohol. the first two weeks were easy because i was still in shock/ashamed of my dui. after that i struggled a little, but i began seeing a counselor weekly and i guess that helped a little. i never really had much of a problem. well now i just broke up with my long-time girlfriend and so i live alone, bored all day, and i live far away from all of my "friends," so none of them will ever come pick me up or come hang out with me.

tonight has been the worst by far in the past six weeks. i am bored out of my skull, depressed, and not a single thing interests me. watch tv? no thats boring. video games? no thats boring. read? no thats boring. go on a walk? boring again. all i can think of is walking to the corner store and coming home with a 12 pack and just having fun. i call my family, but they are far away and cant do much but talk. i really need some friends or something right now. but its so hard without being able to drive anywhere