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(((((((((squishy)))))))))))
I too just want my AH to be healthy and safe and I'm very scared for him as well. Not a day goes by that I don't worry about him.
In the beginning I was a lot like you. I tried to control the situation, I have done everything from texting his drug dealers and threating them with turning them in to constantly going through his things and flushing any drug that I found. Unfortuantly, when there is a will there is a way and my AH still found ways to get his pills. I agree with Zombiewife in that if your mother and mother in law have told you that they suspect your husband of stealing their pain pills then they know about his addiction. Addicts can only hide their addiction for so long and then it starts to tell on them.
As for telling them, that is entirely up to you. If you have a good relationship with his parents then I would tell them. You can't carry secret by yourself.
If you read the posts on this board there are some happy endings and there are some sad endings when dealing with loved ones that are addicts. I love when recovering addicts post on this board and give their insight. It helps me understand the addict and it gives me hope that there is a chance of recovery. No matter what you do you cannot help your husband. He has to be the one that wants the help. NA has done wonders for my AH. At first I think he went because I wanted him too but now he goes because he wants too. Addiction is for a lifetime and if you stay with him be prepared for a roller coaster ride.
Try to find you some al-Anon or Nar-Anon meetings to go too. These meetings wont tell you how to help or fix your addict but they will give you the tools to help yourself. And thats the most important thing to remember. Put yourself, your needs, your safety and your happieness first. It's not being selfish, it's actually the most unselfish thing that you can do for you and your AH.
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