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I feel lonely even when I'm surrounded by people. I have 4 kids and my husband works half his time from home. My parents and my siblings live nearby. But I still feel lonely. When my husband's big family comes to visit, I feel even lonlier. I think this is because I feel different and alienated. I used alcohol to smooth over that feeling of being unseen, invisible, unheard. I could join in the fun when I was drunk. But now I'm sober and I am again turned into this small person with no voice. I hardly ever use my real voice in my life. (I use it here all the time!) The things that occupy my thoughts don't seem relevant or important enough to share with others. I don't know. It's wierd. But I do feel lonely. All the time. Like I'm an invisible person inside a fake person.
I'm sorry you feel lonely too. I've been reading a lot about sobriety and I think it gets better. I hope so.
- MLE |