| Butterfly someday he will understand the hell that you went through, and he'll realize it had NOTHING to do with him. Certain people in my life don't understand what I went through either, and they still can't bring themselves to forgive me. All we can do is live the best life possible right now. If you keep re-living the past, it will destroy you, and then you won't be any good to anyone. I spent years pacing around at night, never sleeping, just eating myself up over things that happened in the past. I finally had to let it go - why ruin what's left of my life because the bad times haunt me? I don't let them creep back into my mind as often now - I tell myself that wasn't really me that acted that way - it was the addict, a very sick woman. Let your son see you strong and positive, not apologizing all the time and sad. He'll be proud of you one day, and you have plenty of time to become who you really were meant to be. Hey, only another hour or so and it won't be Mother's Day anymore......tomorrow is a new beginning. |