How that's the Big Question? for the pass years
How can't I Get to that place of Forgiveness when
the most precious Gift of Life(my son Adam)I've
putt him through so much Hell and chaos & Pain.
I know I'm a
New Born person been in recovery and all, but I can't
come to that place of forgiveness, I say it but don't feel it
I Hate my self at times when the memories of my wild
living Days rewind in my mind I can't even talk about it
some times my father would talk about the pass and I
would Stop! him
my son he tells me he forgives me but some times he
communicates with me and a one on one basis but then he
would shut down on me for Days or weeks
today Hit's hard for me back at Home I had to live him
a message on his voice mail so he could call me Why?
I know I don't deserve much from him All I ever gave him was misery so Yeah:I can't expect much,you reap what you
saw It's what they say,It's so true
I don't like Mothers Day I don't only have to fight with
this awful memories but also fight with the excruciating
feeling of not having my own Biological Mom since she
gave me up since the age of 10 years old so Yeah:Mothers
Day it's not my favorite Day no sere
that feels Good I need it to Dump to write about it or Talk about It so there I lay it all out.
Now again How Do I get to that Place of Forgiveness when all I
could think is about all the damage I cause my son all
the in-justice I commit it and all the neglect he suffer
me going to pick him up in Kinder Garden all fck Up
on Drugs and drunk,or broke night and took him like that to school It hurts so much when I think about this
memories cause they ain't no good ones Oh:Lord Help
me come in terms with Forgiveness I guess I think
that no child should of had went trough what he went trough
It's not a life for a child he was so little and in-defenseless
he need it me to be there for him My Dad and my ex-mother in-law were the ones and neighbors taking
care of him I hate my self I hate my self!!!!!!this is him
now he is all grown up
