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jerect · 05-09-2008, 08:20 AM

This morning I was looking for a lint brush and I looked in my AH's truck because he always keeps one in the back seat. And what did I run across? A bottle of pills. I wasn't even looking for them, I think my HP showed them to me just to validate my suspicions.

So what am I going to do about it? Nothing, thats right nothing. Questioning and asking him about it willl only result in another lie and I refuse to be lied to anymore. I'm just going to go on and do what I'm doing already. Working on detatching from his addiction, protecting myself financially and working on my relationship with me.

A huge part of me feels really empowered by my decison. There is another part of me that has this funny feeling in the pit of my stomach, almost like a sick feeling. I'm letting that feeling sit there and I'm pondering it, trying to ask myself why it is there and why it's making me feel this way. I think part of me is hating that I'm being lied to once again, especially since it was only yesterday that AH announced that he was going to stop smoking pot. The other part of me is afraid that I'm just ignoring the problem thinking it will go away but in reality I know full aware of what is happening, I'm just choosing to react in a different way.

I have struggled with my spriituality for so long but I'm coming to believe that my HP is the one that is in control here and I have no choice but to give this to God and allow him to sort it all out. It's taken me a long time to get to this point in my recovery and I'm still not totaly comfortable with it but what other choice do I have.

05-09-2008, 08:20 AM	#1 (permalink)
jerect Restoring myself to sanity Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Georgia Posts: 146	GRRRR. I found pills this morning This morning I was looking for a lint brush and I looked in my AH's truck because he always keeps one in the back seat. And what did I run across? A bottle of pills. I wasn't even looking for them, I think my HP showed them to me just to validate my suspicions. So what am I going to do about it? Nothing, thats right nothing. Questioning and asking him about it willl only result in another lie and I refuse to be lied to anymore. I'm just going to go on and do what I'm doing already. Working on detatching from his addiction, protecting myself financially and working on my relationship with me. A huge part of me feels really empowered by my decison. There is another part of me that has this funny feeling in the pit of my stomach, almost like a sick feeling. I'm letting that feeling sit there and I'm pondering it, trying to ask myself why it is there and why it's making me feel this way. I think part of me is hating that I'm being lied to once again, especially since it was only yesterday that AH announced that he was going to stop smoking pot. The other part of me is afraid that I'm just ignoring the problem thinking it will go away but in reality I know full aware of what is happening, I'm just choosing to react in a different way. I have struggled with my spriituality for so long but I'm coming to believe that my HP is the one that is in control here and I have no choice but to give this to God and allow him to sort it all out. It's taken me a long time to get to this point in my recovery and I'm still not totaly comfortable with it but what other choice do I have.