| Hey Lady
You must be exhausted. One of the worst things bout depression/anxiety is that it just wears one out over time. Realize this, Least. At its worst, you are so fatigued that it is literally impossible to assess what is real and what isn't. At its worst, winning the lottery would somehow seem an intrusion.
I'm not trying to be funny. Fatigue can cause insanity itself. Many studies show that it can be a killer on its own and can cause an emotional breakdown. A good diet and more than adequate sleep are imperative before we can tackle such a serious issue as recovery.
What I'm getting at is, that you are not to blame for your inability to put together a strong recovery. When mortar shells are bursting all around, one cannot focus on planting and maintaining a garden.
Recovery requires more of a human being than everyday, boring life. We must have physical and emotional reserves to draw upon. We must be the strongest we can be to encounter dragons. Eat well, sleep well, and drink well (juices, etc). Take care of the organism that is you.
Your mother and daughter seem of great concern to you. Their level of understanding, etc. They will never understand completely unless they face dragons of their own. But they can come to accept. Perhaps we can help.
Relationships and history can make objective communication impossible. There can be simply be too much baggage there. We don't have that baggage with your family, however. We have also been privy to your struggles and courage over time in a way that your family hasn't.
I wonder. If some of us were to write to your loved ones... Would it possibly help them toward acceptance? Might it give them an idea of what you face, what you have been through, and what you need to succeed? Just a thought. I'd certainly be willing and I suspect others would, too. Think about it.
Always here,
warren |