| (((least)))
You're describing exactly the way I felt after I relapsed, and it's a bad, bad feeling. I"ve used those feelings to remind me of why I don't want to drink.
Is there somone you can call and/or talk to in person? You really don't have to do this by yourself, and you DO deserve a life free of alcoholism.
If nothing else, think of your dogs. I know how much they mean to you, and they depend on you. This past Christmas, I went through a lot of stuff, was going to go get a motel room, but had money in my pocket and knew any motel would have crack dealers. I walked into my room, and Elvis (my cat) was sitting on the bed, looking at me like "PLEASE don't leave me". Some will think I'm crazy, but that cat kept me clean that night because I wouldn't leave him.
You're not going to feel like this forever, I promise. Please, please call someone...AA, a friend, whoever can get you through this.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy |