(((Hippy)))
Nothing....and I mean absolutely nothing at all that you have done can make me think less of you. I know what struggles you have been through. You are human, and humans make mistakes. No one was hurt. That's the most important thing. Let's thank G*D for that blessing, shall we?
The way to forgive yourself is to make amends and to never let it happen again.
There is no concept of "sin" in Judaism. What Christians call "sin" we call "missing the mark." Think of it as an archer, who misses the target, ok? What does the archer do? They try again. And they keep trying, until they get it right; until they hit the bulls eye. Teshuva, turning around, is what we do. When we miss the mark, we turn around and try again, until we hit that bulls eye. Then, we are living as G*D wants us to live.
You have no need to confess to any person, if you feel you cannot. Many believe that it heals the soul. That's what therapy is about. That's what sponsors are for too, in a 12 Step program. Or a priest/minister in Christianity. But, you can confess to G*D. Make it real; promise to make teshuva -- to turn around. And keep trying until you are capable of never ever doing the same type of thing again. Then, you are in G*D's grace.
Know, though, that nothing you can do will ever diminish your stature in my eyes. You are human. Nothing more, nothing less. Just as I am. We all have made our own transgressions. And we all have our amends to make.
Begin by forgiving yourself. You're worth it.
Shalom!