[sugarssweetpea]

I feel like that a lot. It is tough. Really tough. Have to really fight it to not let it come out to where my kids can see. Find a hard time having the motivation to do anything, but anxiety b/c I am getting nothing done. Feeling like I wish I would have gone back to school so that I would have had the choice of a career or homeschooling mom. Would have still chosen the homeschooling mom, but would have felt better about myself & not so stupid for not having a degree as well. Whole bunch of junk up there in that brain of mine. I believe mine is a chemical imbalance since the first time I thought of suicide I was 12. I self medicated for years with drugs & alcohol & now with sugar. I have just started yesterday taking another route & getting a prescription for Effexor. Excited, curious & nervous to see how it works. It is funny, I got a script for anxiety & depression & then got anxiety about taking it. My brain is definately strange.