| Hi Nic,
I looked at your profile and saw your sobriety date is one day away from mine - You're 2/3/08 & I'm 2/2/08. So you're coming up on 90 days like me! I'm sure you've done some hard work already to get where you are. So, good job.
I have had a pretty strange life with many things I wouldn't wish on anyone. I was neglected and abused as a child. And I was raped twice as a teenager. Most of my adult life was dominated by severe undiagnosed bipolar disorder which would land me, again and again, in the locked psychiatric ward. I drank seriously since I was 14 which exacerbated my bipolar. I battled suicidality constantly. But now, today, I am stable and sober. Lithium, along with Seroqul and Depakote keep my Bipolar mostly stable. I am no longer suicidal. I can be a good mom and I'm trying every day to be a good wife.
I am telling you all this because I want you to know that there are other people who have severe situations which they've had to go to battle with. And you can come out the other side.
Therapy has been an absolutely vital part of my being able to live a "normal" life. One of the reasons I drank initially was because of my childhood and then it all got reinforced as a teen. I never could have dealt with that stuff on my own without being in therapy. As I was dealing with it, I would sometimes need to be hospitalized just because I could no longer funtion without hurting myself.
I wouldn't say it ever really goes away - I have broken pieces in me that I can't get out. But at least I know what they are and why they're there. Always before, I'd have times when I would be suffering so badly (triggered by something I couldn't even identify) and I didn't even have a name for it.
I know it is painful and difficult. And sometimes it seems impossible. But you can do this. I am certain of that. I'm glad you're here. Keep posting.
I'm sorry if my post is too much information and I should be doing this differently. |