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silver3 · 04-26-2008, 06:01 AM

Hello,

I have been sober 2 weeks now, I live with my ex, I've been living with him for 3 months, we dated on off for only about 6 months, and broke up the first week I moved in, he say's that I don't trust him, but basically he's insecure and emotionally distant and immature even though he's 10 years older than me,two weeks ago I got drunk and abusive toward him (he's not alcoholic) he left the house and slept in his car the next day he told me to move out and go ruin someone else's life.

I'm torn because I either go back to live with my mum who is not alcoholic but with who I have a very co-dependant unhelathy relationship and alcoholic/drug addict brother or stay here with him on a touch and go basis, I've isolated myself from all my family, I alienated my friends long ago, I work in the same department as this man, and were basically together all day, but I think I picked him because I knew he would be no good for me, I think he used me to help him fnancially with rent/bills so he's currently happy enough to have me stay as long as I stay sober and out of his hair. I feel cheated and used but at the same time he forced me to see how big a drinking problem I have and I've joined AA because of it.

I'm financially better off with my mum and closer to my place of work, but at home I might startto self destruct again, I've lived alone twice before and both times had to move back home because I financially crippled myself because of drinking/gambling.

I'm so confused about what to do, I would like to live alone again but financially I'll be alot worse off, I'm so happy that I found AA and I try to get to a meeting everyday, I get alot of cravings and we have alcohol in the house but so far I've stayed sober.

I'm great at alienating people and it seems the only people who will tolerate me are those that want to use or abuse me, I think my family do love me but also think I'm better of living apart from them because of the massive co-dependency issues, however I now live with someone who If I don't totally shut him out finds ways to hurt me, for example he enjoys making me jelouse and puts me down in subtle ways, but because im also acoa, I keep coming back for more. I'm scared that if i stay here he will find a new lover and enjoy torturing me which could very well devastate me or move back home and risk my sobriety.

I'm so confused but I need to make a choice.

04-26-2008, 06:01 AM	#1 (permalink)
silver3 Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 1	Relationship choices....help Hello, I have been sober 2 weeks now, I live with my ex, I've been living with him for 3 months, we dated on off for only about 6 months, and broke up the first week I moved in, he say's that I don't trust him, but basically he's insecure and emotionally distant and immature even though he's 10 years older than me,two weeks ago I got drunk and abusive toward him (he's not alcoholic) he left the house and slept in his car the next day he told me to move out and go ruin someone else's life. I'm torn because I either go back to live with my mum who is not alcoholic but with who I have a very co-dependant unhelathy relationship and alcoholic/drug addict brother or stay here with him on a touch and go basis, I've isolated myself from all my family, I alienated my friends long ago, I work in the same department as this man, and were basically together all day, but I think I picked him because I knew he would be no good for me, I think he used me to help him fnancially with rent/bills so he's currently happy enough to have me stay as long as I stay sober and out of his hair. I feel cheated and used but at the same time he forced me to see how big a drinking problem I have and I've joined AA because of it. I'm financially better off with my mum and closer to my place of work, but at home I might startto self destruct again, I've lived alone twice before and both times had to move back home because I financially crippled myself because of drinking/gambling. I'm so confused about what to do, I would like to live alone again but financially I'll be alot worse off, I'm so happy that I found AA and I try to get to a meeting everyday, I get alot of cravings and we have alcohol in the house but so far I've stayed sober. I'm great at alienating people and it seems the only people who will tolerate me are those that want to use or abuse me, I think my family do love me but also think I'm better of living apart from them because of the massive co-dependency issues, however I now live with someone who If I don't totally shut him out finds ways to hurt me, for example he enjoys making me jelouse and puts me down in subtle ways, but because im also acoa, I keep coming back for more. I'm scared that if i stay here he will find a new lover and enjoy torturing me which could very well devastate me or move back home and risk my sobriety. I'm so confused but I need to make a choice.