[Pony]

I start each day trying so very hard to focus on "me" and what I need to do with my day and life. somewhere in the midst of the day I stray off into what I need to do and accomplish for others as well. By other's I mean my family. Somedays I just don't feel like I am keeping up.

I want to start working on my training for become a driver trainer at work, now that I am done moving and we are settling in here. Thou, there is still alot of work to do here in the new place before it is ready to call "home". There are some requirements that my boss has put out there for me to accomplish before he will spend the money on the classes and time for me to be trained. So I am trying to focus on those things. My needs is gerring up for this surgery and has many, many needs and demands of my time. (Time off work as well for these things). I explained to my mom, already, that the time I am taking off for her appt's and stuff I don't get paid for. I have already taken alot of time off for when I was moving and had to go to court for my daughter. It hits the pay check really hard.

Anyway, I am just rambling....it is just hard to keep up with these things and my daughter's activities and the babysitting of my g-daughter so my oldest-D can work and make rent also. I feel that food and dealing with it has taken a back seat. But I can't let it happen like that for too long. I will end up in the same place my mother is. That would be bad. I tell myself daily that I need to just get started and do what I need to do, but I fail daily in doing anything productive....except breathing.