| Hi Jilly,
Glad you're here. You are taking the first baby steps and they're scary, scary, scary. I agree. But you have to take these steps to get to the next steps. It gets easier and you can definatly do this.
I got sober with AA and an outpatient treatment program. I have 76 days. The first AA meeting I went to, I was drunk. And I gave them a different name thinking that would hlep me feel better somehow!! Now we laugh at that but at the time I ws so scared of being there I thought it was better if they didn't know me. Ummm... yea - I realize now that makes no sense whatsoever.
The second meeting I went to, I still gave them the alibi name (what did I think the AA stood for?) and I cried the entire time. Really cried. Red nosed sobs.
The third meeting, I finally gave them my real name and didn't cry much - just got all teary. But no sobbing.
And now, when I walk in that door, I have this feeling of relief like I can breath. I leave my meetings feeling cleaned out somehow.
Anyway - I'm not going to wish you luck. I'm going to wish you strength. You can do this. |