Welcome to SR!
One thing that helped me once I accepted that I was alcoholic and needed to take action was to come up with a plan to stay sober.
I decided that I would hit the problem from a couple of different angles. I signed up and started an outpatient treatment program, I started attending AA every day, I got a sponsor and started working the steps almost immediately, I am unemployed but was afforded the opportunity to put the job search on hold while I focused on rehab in my first few months and I took that opportunity with the belief that I will be able to get a job once I have sobriety under control. Essentially I made a conscious effort to put sobriety as my # 1 priority.
I put this plan in writing so I could see how it looked and followed through with it.
The most important thing is to not get overwhelmed by "What ifs" or "Poor me" attitudes about the future or past. Take things in stride, one day at a time and remember that staying sober today will translate well into every aspect of your life.
Keep coming back and thanks for your post.
