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I have never hated anyone in my life until now.
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Becky the primary person that is being hurt by all of this is you, and your hurt is going to roll over to your kids, if it is really over, then tell him it is and stop talking to him on the phone. When you talk to him on the phone in his head he still has power over you!
I can understand the hate you feel for him, my first wife left me with three young children because as she put it "Martin I do not want to be a mother or a wife any more!" She did a whole lot of crap that ate me up for a very long time, I hurt my kids even more by going on a vicous three day drunk!
I have moved on, I have forgiven her, she was sick, she is a bit better now and her heart aches now for what she did then. Will I ever forget what she did? NO!!!! But I am past it and know that she was sick.