[October]

As i read the esoteric, lyrical ramblings i wrote last night i am embarassed.............i get like that, i kind of....erm....AM like that. There is something distinctly almost supernatural.....mystical about having schizophrenia. MUSIC is a huge undeniable influence, like movies can take you emotionallt to a particular place or time....or feeling, so does music for me.....movies too. And right now Oasis is on the XM radio. If you have ever heard a song by oasis, i'm sure you know those songs take you somewhere.
Often....oasis songs are what are playing at full volume when you floor the gas while your'e driving in the rain at 3am, driving with your knee while trying to light a ciggarette. Kind of like the extreme opposite....Pantera, Superjoint Ritual, DOWN.........Have you ever listened to down's first and blackly beautiful first album NOLA? If you havn't i need not go any further....come back after you buy it and play it all night......and punch out every window in your truck. Things like this used to be an everyday occurrence for me.....now i try to stick to Greenday.....Oasis....Fleetwood Mac. Stuff that is alot safer.
This post is nothing more than my muses on my condition....please don't try and make sense of it if you havn't already tried....there is none...that's the beautiful part. Do i sound worried to you? There is no place for thoughts like this where i am right now.....no room for error, problems, or deviations from the norm. I lost my insurance.....and oasis is on......so yes i'm a little worried. Actually, the way things are going.........the way i feel and i really havn't had but a little booze, and i mean a little......and it's daytime....2 in the afternoon, i guess maybe i should be a little concerned. Sorry for this rambling crappy and depressing post everyone. It's just where i'm at right now.....right here.