[October]

Last night i was positive......for the first time, i TRUSTED my heart to a woman again. She was so clear......we.....I was going to be a FATHER.

That word tastes dirty in my mouth.

Fathers leave...they hurt.


I would never leave....hurt.....i know how long that lasts.

FOREVER.

WHY is it so $%#$%$# casual to say, to $%^%$#$ SAY TO ME......if things don't work out with "so and so" we might have a chance. WHAT WAS LAST NIGHT ABOUT AND WHY DID I TRUST HER.

OH.......why do i still trust her and....

this is NOT the best time to play emotional roulette with me.

I play for keeps and if someone hurts me....

I just may curl up and D.......

I can't be like this.

I think i'll drink the rest of that cuervo and see where the road goes tonight......like i said, everything is perfect.