[nandm]

Welcome to SR!

So many of us have been where you are right now. I for one can remember quite clearly the feelings of shame, remorse, the feeling like I was a failure because I was unable to control my drinking or just put it down and stop. What I learned through my 20 year journey of drinking is that I am an alcoholic. My body reacts differently when I add alcohol and even when I don't add alcohol my brain still craves it and I feel insane without it. I came to the point I knew I could no longer go on living while drinking but did not have any idea how to live without drinking. It was a miserable place to be. My insides were a mess, I could not stand being in my own skin.

The solution I found was a program of recovery. It gave me the tools to learn to live without alcohol and without feeling the insanity that my attempts to quit before always left me with. It also helped me lose the obsession of alcoholism. There are many programs of recovery out there. There is a list in our alcoholism forum here at SR with links to many of them. Personally, AA is the program that worked for me. I just celebrated 7 years of sobriety last month. There is hope. There is a solution to what is going on for you right now. Please check into a program of recovery. I am sure there is one in your area. Feel free to ask questions as you are among people with a common problem and many have found the solution to it.