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3suns1star · 04-05-2008, 02:08 AM

Hi all

Im new to this site, and Ive come here because Im sick of making a drunk idiot of myself.

I dont know where to start, Ive lost alot of my pride, and alot of my self worth because of satan in a bottle, Done all sorts of things, ruined my sisters engagement party, had fights with my mother, punch ups with my dad, and have lost alot of respect and friends along the way. ive absolutely ruined my reputation around town. Ive practically just gotten out of high school and havent really tasted the fruits of the world properly. I used to be a funny guy, and a upbeat sorta bloke, now im the freak that sits in his room depressed as ****, overweight, unclean and sad. no sex drive left or nething.

I also smoked marijuana heavily, at least 12 cones a day, for about a year, and that left me with bizzarre paranoia and hullicinations. I found it hard to sleep, and I saw devil faces in the darkness and whenever i closed my eyes. then came the inward looking, thinking about everything negative that ever happened in my life and twisting it to the point where it was just driving me towards suicide

I recently took two weeks of pot and alcohol, and although ive made a firm choice to never smoke weed again, I relasped on alcohol last nite, and I was only drinking light beer, but It still messed with me and turned me into a spiteful aggressive arsehole. and my friends who thought i was doing so well were once again left dissappointed.

Im sick of feeling like a total negative creep. I want to change. and im really pissed with myself.

04-05-2008, 02:08 AM	#1 (permalink)
3suns1star Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 2	Hi all Im new to this site, and Ive come here because Im sick of making a drunk idiot of myself. I dont know where to start, Ive lost alot of my pride, and alot of my self worth because of satan in a bottle, Done all sorts of things, ruined my sisters engagement party, had fights with my mother, punch ups with my dad, and have lost alot of respect and friends along the way. ive absolutely ruined my reputation around town. Ive practically just gotten out of high school and havent really tasted the fruits of the world properly. I used to be a funny guy, and a upbeat sorta bloke, now im the freak that sits in his room depressed as ****, overweight, unclean and sad. no sex drive left or nething. I also smoked marijuana heavily, at least 12 cones a day, for about a year, and that left me with bizzarre paranoia and hullicinations. I found it hard to sleep, and I saw devil faces in the darkness and whenever i closed my eyes. then came the inward looking, thinking about everything negative that ever happened in my life and twisting it to the point where it was just driving me towards suicide I recently took two weeks of pot and alcohol, and although ive made a firm choice to never smoke weed again, I relasped on alcohol last nite, and I was only drinking light beer, but It still messed with me and turned me into a spiteful aggressive arsehole. and my friends who thought i was doing so well were once again left dissappointed. Im sick of feeling like a total negative creep. I want to change. and im really pissed with myself.