Please seek help...and a medical detox. If you go to the ER of any hospital and are going through sever withdrawal, they can't turn you away. I've had to go without insurance before--because i very well easily could have died otherwise. they admitted me immediately once when I could barely walk, hands shaking, couldnt sign my own name...a girl at the desk had to write down my info by looking at my drivers license...not a fun situation...but i needed help. My liver enzymes were also through the roof at that time. It wont get better overnight...plus you can't detox on your own..not with having a history of seizures/convulsions....Ive been there too. There are also place you can go for treatment..some dont cost anything...not sure about where you live. i went to a free womens detox center. please seek help and althoughAA isnt the only way to get sober--it would be something at least. Being atheist is ok--you can still go>no one will force a "God" upon you. They only ask that you be willing to believe in something other than yourself to help you get sober>since you werent able to do it on your own. The group itself was my "God" or Higher power for a long time...because I had a hard time with the whole God-thing. I believed that the program worked for them--they were sober >I wasnt. whatever it takes.....don't let the whole "God" idea be the make/break decision for not wanting to go..especially if there is an AA place nearby. They just might be able to help you..or point you somewhere wher you can get some help. (Sorry, for the typos/misspellinmgs....trying to reach you before you go offline)